I’ll Do It As Soon As I Lose Weight

"I'll Do It As Soon As I Lose Weight" - an inspiring post about putting our lives on hold until we lose weight by Andie Mitchell

“I’ll do ___ as soon as I lose weight.”

This is something I used to tell myself all the time. In middle school, when I thought about auditioning for the play…oh but I’m too chubby. I’ll do it next year when I lose weight. When I wanted to ask a guy out…I have to lose weight first! When I wanted to buy new clothes…Well, it won’t make sense to buy them now when I need to lose all this weight.

When I was overweight–and not just 135 pounds heavier than I am now, but at all the weights I wished away–I connected every problem to my size. In my mind, my weight was always the problem–not my mindset, not my relationship with food, not my habits–my scale weight. And because I believed my fatness to be such a burden, such a shame, I was scared to put myself out there and do things that made me uncomfortable. 

If you’re friends of this blog, or readers of my book, you know that once I lost 135 pounds, I was startled to realize that losing weight didn’t fix my life or bring me the complete happiness I spent 20 years thinking it would. Sure, it was devastating to find that out, but it was also enlightening. I credit it with waking me up to the fact that I’d been using food as a coping mechanism all my life. It forced me to start dealing with pain, anxiety, sadness…and not turn back to the comfort of food for escape. Of course it was hard. As a lifetime procrastinator, it didn’t come naturally. But dealing with my junk gave me more peace, taking risks built my confidence, and taking action empowered me. Here’s a cliche that was true then and applies here: I realized that it felt better to be playing in the game–even if the game was hard–than sitting on the sidelines. 

"I'll Do It As Soon As I Lose Weight" - an inspiring post about putting our lives on hold until we lose weight by Andie Mitchell

So many of us put our lives on layaway. But do some quick math and add up all the weeks, months, and years that you’ve spent on hold because of your weight. Any amount of time is too much time. Knowing what I do now about weight loss, and the myth of the holy grail of thinness, I regret just how much stuff I didn’t do, or waited to do, because I either believed I couldn’t or didn’t deserve to do it because I was fat. 

Sometimes I forget this and you might forget it, too, so let’s remind each other often: Your size doesn’t preclude you from desires and love and jobs and clothing and jobs and wild dreams and a full life. Your body is only one part of who you are — and not even close to the best part.

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65 thoughts on “I’ll Do It As Soon As I Lose Weight

    1. Clara Smith

      Yes we do! Mindset is probably the single most important thing when it comes to losing weight!

      I myself have been battling with my unwanted weight all my life, even as a kid I was always a little on the chubby side. However as an adult things changed for worse as I gained all the more pounds especially after my first pregnancy.

      However in the past year I have lost nearly 30 lbs, after a friend of mine shared a weight loss newsletter from a diet expert with me, therefore with the intention to give back this is a link to the free newsletter for all women: http://bit.ly/1kxNYvM

      Reply
  1. Maxine

    Thanks for posting this! For me, it’s not so much about “I’ll do it as soon as I lose weight” but more like “I won’t enjoy this as much because I’m not the size I want to be”. Same-same but different. It drives my husband nuts and we fight about it. 5 pounds heavier or not, I’ll enjoy our trip to Maui and may even take a few rest days from the gym! :)

    Reply
    1. Jennifer

      You and Andrea just described this so well. I also do this with “I won’t enjoy this as much” game. Thank you for this post and for your comment. xo

      Reply
  2. Anne F.

    This is me! Period. Unfortunately, I have lived my whole adult life saying this in my head and out loud to close friends.Younger people out there?!?!? Get to it and live your life and don’t wake up and realize your life is swiftly passing and you are not on that train ride. Go for it! It is sad to look back at alllllll the years that I have lived like this. Boo hoo. You can have it all but you have to live it!!! And don’t wait for the perfect day as it may or may not come and you have missed the boat. Andie, you have taught us that the day does not turn out as perfectly as we had imagined. Love your life, NOW!

    Reply
  3. Hannah

    I have done this my entire life! Absolutely everything has been blamed on my weight and appearance in some way. Applying for a job, why I’m single, when I’ll be able to feel confident leaving the house, everything in my mind comes down to “I’d be happier if I were smaller”. As I get older I’m starting to realise the same thing you did, it’s not the root of all unhappiness, it’s simply one aspect, but you can control it. Love you blog, have for a while! I’m considering changing jobs completely and my weight is what’s stopping me. This post has helped me see it’s not just me!

    Reply
  4. Catherine

    Thanks Andie, for saying it, for reminding me. It so important to remember that life doesn’t start someday… the day we’ll finally be perfect. It’s now and everyday. And life doesn’t wait…

    Reply
  5. Carol Hansen

    I have to say for the first time I am not sure I can walk away from one your amazing posts and say “yes, I am changing my mindset” “This is so true” only because I think this is a deeply imbedded lie in my life…something, thanks to you, I am working through and I know will get to the other side, but man is it tough to change beliefs. I am reading your book and enjoying it immensely! You are truly a great writer! I am so thankful for you! xoxoxo

    Reply
  6. Erin @ Erin's Inside Job

    This is such an important lesson, but also one that can take a lifetime to learn. After I entered recovery I switched my addiction to exercise and disordered eating for a period of time. My goals were always to achieve something that was never physically possible and I only wish I had realized that sooner. So much time and mental energy is wasted trying to be something we’re not instead of embracing the awesome person each one of us is.

    Reply
  7. Sabrina

    This post is so amazing….as you know, I am so guilty of this, but as always you find the best way to explain it all, love you!

    Reply
  8. Sarah

    Great post, Andie! This is definitely something I have always said to myself and still do… this is a nice reminder that life is too short not to live it RIGHT NOW!

    Reply
  9. Biz

    Andie, I loved this post! I just wrote about something similar on Monday – check it out of you have time:

    http://www.mybizzykitchen.com/2015/10/19/i-am-kind-of-done/

    I am tired of counting calories, avoiding parties, events, bars, etc. for fear of not being in control – but guess what? I am finally taking control! And if that means I’ll be 168 the rest of my life, so be it – after my husband died I realized life is too short to sit on the sidelines.

    Hugs!

    Reply
  10. Nichole

    Yes to this entire post. I have a LONG way to go on my weight loss journey. As I get older, some days I’m okay with it, and some days I’m not. So many times I’ve held myself back thinking the same thing. My best friend lost 80lbs, and while I see she is much happier, a lot of her issues are still there. Because you’re right, things don’t magically get better once you reach goal. Thanks for always keeping it real, Andie! xo

    Reply
  11. Judy Mitzner Rogers

    I just read this post and it resonated with me on many levels. I lost the same amount of weight you did and went through many of the same revelations. For me I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t living until the pounds were shed and I still wasn’t happy – losing the weight showed me where happiness needed to come from and it wasn’t body image. Friends keep asking me how I lost all the weight. So I finally gave in and started my own blog. If you have a chance stop by and read if you can. Thanks for your insights.

    theaassofdeath.com

    Reply
  12. Melanie Koukos

    This is me Andie! Your story is my story..l see myself in this post. I saw myself in your book. I have read your book twice so far and your writing is so beautiful. The main difference between your story and mine is that I have not lost the weight. I don’t know how to do it(not the diet part, not the exercise part, but the emotional part).

    Reply
  13. Sally

    Once again, you took the thoughts right out of my mind. Thank you for vocalizing these thoughts so perfectly. And thank you for the encouragement to get out and live life, no matter our size. Life is too damn short not to enjoy. You are such an amazing writer – thank you for being willing to be so vulnerable – you’re helping and inspiring more people than you know! I am so glad I found your book and your blog. Thank you, thank you! xoxo

    Reply
  14. Robyn

    What a good read! I have also learned the hard way, though not as dramatically as you, that being your ‘ideal’ weight doesn’t also automatically make you confident/stylish/graceful/anything other than smaller. You mention delaying buying clothes until you’re happy with your weight, and interestingly I have found that accepting your weight as is and putting aside clothing which has grown too tight in favour of something that makes you feel great NOW can actually motivate you to take better care of yourself so you can keep feeling like a million bucks. Thanks for your wise words.

    Reply
  15. Julia Dewolf

    I love your writing. I need your help! I’ve struggled and struggled to lose the last 10 lbs of baby weight. I’ve read and re-read your posts about plateaus. Do you net eat 1200 calories or 1200 then minus exercise? I wear a heart rate monitor and a device calibrated to myself, so it’s more or less correct in the amount of calories I burn.
    When YOU lost your weight… did you eat your calorie goal NET of exercise? I know you are super busy, so just a reply to this comment as 1 or 2 would be VERY helpful!
    You calculated your calories, for weight loss:
    1) amount of calories eaten in a day = calorie goal +(PLUS) calories burned with exercise
    2) amount of calories eaten in a day = calorie goal -(MINUS) calories burned with exercise
    ANYONE?
    I’m desperate for help, and obsessed and it’s not happening. I’ve plateaued in the same 3 lbs for months and months. I exercise 6 times a week, I run a half marathon every 2 months, I also swim and bike.

    Reply
    1. Hanro

      Hi Julia, I would go with 1. 2 would be too crazy. You’d be eating less than a 1,000 calories a day meaning you might feel tired, irritable, or anxious. There is a great book called Volumetrics by Barbara Rolls, it really helped me lose my last 10 pounds. Good luck to you and I’m sure you’ll nail your goals!

      Reply
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  17. Krista

    I love your writing and this post. I have been in the Medical Field for over 25 yrs mostly in OB/GYN and weight loss for not only women but men too is depressing and difficult. Thanks for sharing your support! Anytime you want to guest blog on mine let me know, email me anytime and vice versa! I love following you! Great job!

    Reply
  18. Morgan

    Oh Andie, I love your writing. You always hit home at just the right moment. I’ve been contemplating starting a youtube channel because I love the creativity and art that so many display within, but I just keep thinking….won’t I be worried people will see me at this weight on camera? It’s settled, I’ll start tomorrow

    <3,

    Mo

    Reply
  19. DessertForTwo

    Thank you so much for sharing. I really related when you said ‘accomplishing X didn’t make me happy like I thought it would.’ I think I’m in that phase of life right now. Or, my hormones are so out-of-whack from breastfeeding that I can’t even deal right now. Everything feels so personal. Bah. I’m done rampling and emotional dumping on you. Sorry about that.
    Love this post :)

    Reply
  20. Lindsey

    Amazing post and so beautifully written. I honestly think you just wrote my life self-dialog. Turning 39 tomorrow….I think it’s time to stop this thinking. Thank you!

    Reply
  21. Laura

    To say that this rings true is an understatement – tears are streaming down my cheeks as I type. My heart aches with regret and my soul yearns for more.

    Reply
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  23. Phoebe

    As usual, your posts are timely and poignant. I don’t have a lot to lose (25 lbs), but it’s totally put a stranglehold on my life. Well, I’ve let it do that, I’ll own that! Oh, the chains we lock ourselves into!

    Reply
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  25. Clare M

    This is beautifully written. I think that there are many of us who feel this way. Losing weight is a constant struggle, but I also have realized that I need to make more time for myself as well. This was a great post.

    Reply
  26. Emily

    Andie,

    You always know just what to say, and when to say it. So often, when I feel like no one could possibly understand what I’m thinking/feeling, you post something that captures it perfectly, and makes me realize I’m not alone at all. Thank you.

    Reply
  27. DrRoss Stockwell

    The problem we see, in our practice, with weight loss programs are that they are so SLOW. The best way IS slow and steady BUT people get frustrated with all the work it takes to lose weight that way.
    Frustration leads to depression then thoughts about “that is just me” take over and they stop trying. If the weight loss program starts working from the very first day and when they see that they are losing weight steadily, by weighing every day, they get “stoked” on weight loss. They become happy with the program and stay on it until they achieve their goal. So my advice is to get on a program that shows weight loss from the very first day, for your healths sake.

    Reply
  28. Jo

    Hi
    What an inspiring post, I am sure that will have made many people think… something I have found very useful is a technique called EFT (emotional freedom technique) which you can easily teach yourself in an hour just from a book or youtube video. In minutes, it can take away those mental blocks and thought patterns that are holding you back, leaving you free to achieve your goals. We can waste so much of our precious lives worrying about our weight when, let’s face it, there are far more important things to put our minds to. And as you say in your post, you won’t necessarily feel the way you think you will just because you are slimmer.
    Once I lost some excess weight I help maintain the weight loss with interval training 3 times a week as it’s very good at burning fat and keeping my metabolism working well. I also use some of the products from the C9 Diet to give myself some extra ‘help’.
    At the end of the day we need to be thankful for all the blessings in our lives and go out there and grab life with both hands and LIVE IT!

    Reply
  29. Kiana

    I really loved this article because it really hit home. Reading articles like these make me happy to find people who have had the same body struggles I have had. I’ve spent my childhood and teen years then the beginning of my early adulthood scrutinizing myself and putting my life on hold until I was thinner but thinner doesn’t come and life keeps on moving.

    I’m glad I found this post today after I just wrote about self confidence no matter your body size.

    Reply
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  31. Katherine

    I discovered your blog/cookbook/memoir today. So excited to have found a blog I can truly relate to. When I was 23 I weighed 235 lbs…at 5″2 it was a sight to be seen! You must have received this back handed compliment too…”Oh! It’s such a shame you’re fat…you’re sooo pretty!”. Now at 38…with two little girls who look up to me my goal is to give them all the necessary tools/habits to help them become strong healthy women. I now hover around 155 lbs. Always trying to lose that last 10 lbs…or at the very least turn it into muscle. Being in control of your life choices is the only way to live. Having the fortitude to take whatever comes your way ( good and bad ) with honesty and style is inspiring to everyone. I look forward to following your blog and finding gems like this post in the future.

    Reply
  32. Sanjana

    I just love the way you pen down your thoughts, I find it so helpful (and relatable) when it comes to dealing with my emotions and what I’m dealing with through my own weight loss journey! SO happy I came across this blog, thank you Andie :):):):)

    Reply
  33. Ojo Christianah

    Truly inspiring…life is too short to have regrets and time passes real quickly. So there is need to take some actions while we still can and stop using our appearances or things we do not like about ourselves as excuses for not getting the kind of life we desire and truly deserve. I respect your writing skill…the way you put down your thoughts and emotions…keep it up.

    Reply
  34. Desi

    The first article I’ve read from this blog and I’m already a fan. ”As soon as I lose weight”: how many times have I said the same exact words as a sad excuse to not go after my dreams. At first it was just 3 kg, then 5, then 10…and the truth is the weight was never the problem, it rarely is.

    Reply
  35. Jocelynn

    Your book came through the library today and while reading what it was about I was really struck by it. Which led me to finding this blog and reading through some of your posts. I am sitting here at work and nearly crying, because finally someone has written down everything I have every thought and felt about myself. Because I have always been the heavy one out of my friends (topping that with a genetic heard condition and meds that do make it harder to lose weight). This post in particular touched me as I have thought and said these things to myself so many times I have lost count. I have so tired of having this weight (257 pounds), and I did so well going to the gym last year losing no weight but gaining muscles and inches. I lost motivation because I was so focused on the scale number and no support from my doctor. I try to tell myself that I need to love my body for what it is, but in deep honest raw truth I hate it. I hate that I can’t wear clothes I want to, that when I find a piece of clothing I have always wanted and it does it reduces me to tears. I blame everything on my weight, but I really should be looking towards my own actions and mind set as you said. The world finds worth in beauty, and does nothing to address real problems of what is happening to that person. I should be able to have self worth and confidence no matter my size, but I should also treat my body better and find that balance.

    Reply
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  37. Haley

    I’ve always wanted to cut my hair short. Like, pixie cut. But I’ve always thought those haircuts are for tall, thin women.
    I also miss wearing bright colors. I wear black, dark blue, and dark purple. With dark wash skinny jeans.
    One reason I love fall is because I can wear cardigans again and hide my body.
    I have PCOS which makes losing weight nearly impossible,
    I wish I was in a healthy enough mindset to just live my life and not worry about my weight or appearance.
    But I’m just not.
    Thank you for showing me that maybe one day I can.

    Reply
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  39. G Papa

    Thank you! Your words always seem like they are speaking directly to me..and because of this sometimes I procrastinate reading them because I know your right but I just can’t deal….

    Reply
  40. Aubs

    HELL YES!!! This realization hit me hard last week and I feel a motivation to LIVE like I have never before! I’m tired of watching my girlfriends go on this wonderful empowering retreats, to only feel like “I’m scared to go, because I can never keep up”. WELL F*CK THAT!! I’m tired of being scared to push myself to do climb those mountains and only doing the flat hikes. I’m tired of feeling limited. I’m tired of not feeling the energy to keep up with my two little ones. Well that is all changing. I CAN DO THIS.

    On a side note – I’ve decided that I want to plan a trip with me and my husband, that has some really difficult beautiful hikes in the future. I’m going to give myself some motivation that isnt food related.

    PS – You are amazing. this blog has inspired me for years.

    Reply
  41. SDA

    And, once again you provide insight that is accurate, true, hopeful and sad at the same time. The time to start is now. Through therapy I have slowly starting to realize and actually believe that it is ok to be kind to yourself. And no matter how much time had passed or how many times you have started your journey it’s still ok to start again. You are never to old to start over.

    Reply
  42. CWK

    Oh my word – this spoke to me so much that it about made me cry. I have done this exact thing for 10 years and I need to stop. Thank you so much for sharing. Such a wake up call!

    Reply

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