We’re Engaged!

Andie and Daniel

Friends! I couldn’t be happier to tell you that Daniel and I are engaged! On New Year’s Eve, just after midnight, he asked me to marry him in the sweetest, most intimate way, and I was just a heap of tears. I love this man, this incredible human being, with my whole entire heart. There’s not a person on this Earth I’d rather spend the rest of my life, not even a person I’d rather stand in some agonizing line with, than Daniel. He is, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I will be thankful every day to have him.

Andie Mitchell engagement ring

For any readers who need a little bit of backstory on our relationship, Daniel and I met the first day of our freshman year of college in 2003, started dating in 2004, and stayed together for 7 years (with a break-up thrown in there), until 2011, when, at 26, I broke up with him. If you’ve read the book, you know this. It was a devastating time of life.

Last May, though, we got back together, and in July, I shared it with you by writing this on Instagram:

In April, on a rainy Sunday, I woke up from a nap and saw that I’d gotten a text from Daniel. It was a picture of a gravestone in the ground. I didn’t recognize it at first, until I saw the name, my dad’s. It was overgrown with grass and weeds. The text to follow said, “I thanked your dad for making you. Told him all about your success.” All of the air in my lungs left me and I cried these deep, heaving tears. I haven’t been to that grave more than twice in the 18 years since he’s been gone, and here Daniel was, standing on that ground in Massachusetts, talking to my dad and thanking him. Who was this gift of a human being who loved me this much? I knew in that moment, even though I didn’t tell him then. There is no one I’ve ever loved, or will ever love, so completely, and on such profound levels. He is my best friend, the person I am most genuinely myself with, the kindest, most loving, funniest, and smartest person. He goes to dinner and the movies with my mom, just the two of them, because she asks, and he loves her. He loves my best friends. He accepts and loves the parts of me I have trouble loving myself. What incredible luck I have to have found him, and re-found him, and to have all these years of growing up together. When I wrote the dedication for my cookbook this past winter, we weren’t back together or even heading that way; we were just talking every day like we’d done for the last 12 years, never stopping even after we broke up in 2011. I wrote the dedication of that book to him, because I wouldn’t be who I am without him. Because I can’t imagine a life without him. He didn’t know I wrote it, but it’s so plainly true it practically wrote itself: “Daniel, you are my solid ground. No matter where we go, I’ll love you everywhere, all the time.”

 

When I think back to 2011 when we broke up, and that point in my life, it’s so clear to me how scared and unsure I felt about who I was and where I was going. I compare that to now, at 30 years old, with a pretty solid sense of self, a world more confidence, and a career that’s far more defined, and I’m aware of how unprepared I was to marry anyone then. When I consider the way I struggled with whether or not Daniel was ambitious enough, outgoing enough, and all the various other measures of enough-ness, I wonder now, Was it really Daniel who I felt was not enough? Or was it me?

Because at 26, having started a blogging career just a year and a half earlier and having just signed a two-book deal with Clarkson Potter, I was so insecure. I worried, do I deserve the success I have? I had overwhelming anxiety about where my career was going. Even though I went out all the time, I often felt obligated to, and then drained by all of my people pleasing. And when I felt depressed, I wondered, as I’d done a million times before, should my relationship be making me happier?

The past 4 years have been full of transformation. I moved in with my parents for a year after we broke up, and then to New York City, lived with my best friend Sabrina, published the memoir, dated some, and so much more. I’ve had incredible highs and crushing lows–even when everything appeared to stay the same. And every experience has taught me something invaluable about myself. I’ve begun to work on that part of me that needs to please, begun to tackle this perma-feeling of not-enoughness I have, and to shatter the perfectionism that often paralyzes me. Once again, I was reminded that happiness and fulfillment are a personal journey, not a couples’ game. Through living, through therapy, I have slowly started to accept myself completely–even the parts that I once found unacceptable, and started to realize that rejecting Daniel was in some way a rejection of me.

If you were to compare Daniel in 2011 and Daniel now, it’s clear he’s changed. If you ask him, he’ll tell you how much better he feels and how he’s improved his life, and I think that’s just wonderful. He’s more confident, more outgoing, and more intentional. But today, the way I’ve changed, and truly and fully loving him the way I do, it’s not the changes that make me love him.  It’s amazing that he’s changed while we were apart, for him; but I don’t need him to be different. Loving him is accepting him wherever he is.

I don’t regret breaking up in 2011. I wouldn’t know the things I do now, even when they were unbearably painful lessons. But the way I love him today is so full that it feels like finally putting on glasses to see clearly that the issues of our past, all those little specks, weren’t really an infestation of termites that were going to damage the foundation of us; they were just dust mites. I can sweep them away now. And when they collect again, because of course they will, I’ll keep a broom handy.

This summer, he asked me if I believe in soul mates. And I told him that, despite the fact that they’re cheesy and over-used, “I kinda do.” When I asked if he did, he said, “Only because of you.”  

I’ve always been skeptical of people who say things like, “You’ll just know,” when it comes to finding “the one.” It just sounded too good to be true, or at least a little too flimsy a feeling to make such a huge decision. But now I’m rethinking it. I didn’t know when I met Daniel freshman year of college in 2003, but I didn’t know anything then. I didn’t know in 2011 either. I still had a lot of growing up to do, and he probably did too. But this year, when I wanted to be with him, it felt impossible to be apart any longer. I didn’t need to make a pro and con list to help me decide whether or not to get back together. I didn’t need to convince myself.

I knew.

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133 thoughts on “We’re Engaged!

  1. Sabrina

    You + Daniel = relationship goals

    I am so so happy that two of my favorite people are getting married! I can’t wait to celebrate with you both!

    Reply
  2. Nicole Augustine

    Just beautiful. Your words and thoughts are so clear and so real and I want more every time I read something. I wish you both a lifetime of love and happiness. You deserve it!

    Nicole (Lehan) Augustine ❤️❤️❤️

    Reply
  3. Jenna

    Hey Andie!

    I went through a very similar situation with my now fiancé. After 3 years, i doubted and doubted and questioned if Joe was smart/funny/inserttraithere enough. I wondered if I loved him enough. If our relationship was good enough. I kept measuring and comparing us to other couples or movies or what I thought it SHOULD be. Anxious people, such as myself and probably you, tend to project our own insecurities onto our significant other. These projections often are very convincing and blinding at the same time. I think it happens quite often with people that are perfectionists/control freaks (I know I’m one for sure!). We live in a culture that constantly tells us “doubt means don’t” and love should be easy and it’s our partner’s responsibility to give our life purpose and make us happy (I blame Disney). It’s so ass backwards from what a relationship actually is. So happy you and Daniel have reunited! As someone who has been through it, I can assure you the self-awareness only makes your relationship stronger! Lots of love! :)

    Reply
  4. Mimi

    Congratulations! Your ring (and nails) are just gorgeous! You are such a wonderful writer and I love your honesty. You and Daniel seem so sweet and perfect. Best wishes and enjoy wedding planning.

    Reply
  5. Parita @ myinnershakti

    OMG! I’m so happy for you two! I just finished your book a few weeks ago and it had me in tears, especially the parts about you and Daniel. Congratulations!!!

    P.S. My husband says the same thing when we talk about soul mates!

    Reply
  6. Hootie

    I am so very happy for you both :) the preacher that married my husband and I said he believed that people don’t know what love is until they have been together 30 years. I don’t know that it really takes that long, but there is some good stuff that is only accessible after many years with someone. I am glad that you see it. I have to say that after Daniel wrote to us, and getting a sense of his voice, I felt that it added perspective and that whatever understanding I had expanded. I agree that we often point the finger about our own issues. Your success/personal growth continues to inspire me to pursue my own. Thanks for sharing :)

    Cliche piece of advice #237- “It is about the marriage, not the wedding.”
    Side note- you are going to be the most beautiful bride though!

    Reply
  7. Hootie

    P.s. Regarding soul mates…I heard one time that a soul mate is a person that pushes you to grow in the way that you need to at that time in your life. That there can be a various soul mates at various stages of your life. I think I like that. One person cannot be all/everything or meet all needs for another person for extended periods of time because how we are growing may change. Example- I do believe that my husband was my soulmate when we met and he pushed me to really grow as a person but once we had wrestled that bull to the ground, my best friend came along and started pushing me in new ways and I believe she was my soulmate for several years, I feel like right now my mom and my Lord are where my boundaries are being pushed.
    Just so that there isn’t so much pressure to maintain constant soul mate feels…maybe soulmates are paired with periods of time in our lives? Who knows :) the Long Island mediums concepts about souls seems possible too…maybe we will find out one day for sure…until then, yes…soulmates…maybe more than one but I think if you found at least one you are tremendously blessed!

    Reply
    1. Andie Mitchell Post author

      H, that view of soul mates is just simply THE BEST, and I sincerely mean that. Thinking of a best friend as a soul mate, too, makes complete sense to me. A mom as a soul mate, yes. All for a season, a period. When I think this way, everything makes sense and my life feels more like chapters than one long, continuous story. I love you very much.

      Reply
  8. Michelle

    Congratulations to you both. What a blessing that you had the opportunity to learn some things about yourself and grow and be alone for a time. It makes you that much stronger to have gone through that. Wishing you all the happiness!

    Reply
  9. Jess

    Congratulations! I’m so happy for the two of you! When you know, you know — and it’s a great feeling. Happy you found it!

    Reply
  10. Lori

    Granted, I’m a complete stranger. But I think you’ve always *known* even though you weren’t sure… :) May your years be filled with more laughter and love, enough to carry you through the hardest times you’ll ever know. Congratulations!

    Reply
  11. Wendy Walker

    Andie, as always your writing is simply beautiful. I am so happy for you and Daniel and the love that you both share.

    Reply
  12. Julie

    It feels a little funny to be so crazy excited for two people I’ve never met before but I definitely am! Congratulations!!

    Reply
  13. Carrie

    I gasped when I saw your announcement on Instagram and my friend sitting next to me was judging me for being so happy for someone I’ve never met ;) You deserve all the happiness in the world and I cannot wait to see wedding planning updates along the way!

    Reply
  14. Lisa

    What a wonderful story and I am so happy for you both. Please take good care of each other and open up your life to each other’s perfection and imperfections at the same time. Lots of good wishes to you both!

    Reply
  15. Elizabeth

    I just finished reading your book, (which I devoured in 12 hours!) and was excited to check out your blog. When I saw your engagement announcement I cried! I have been married 21 years and I can only say you are lucky to have learned so much about yourself at such a young age. Knowing yourself the way you do will be such an anchor for you as you experience all the ups and downs of marriage! I pray God’s richest blessings over your marriage and continued growth! Thank you for sharing YOU with us!

    Reply
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  17. Gretchen

    Congratulations! I was engaged when I was 30 and had been with my now husband for 7 years at the time! I’m glad we waited that long to make it official though it did come with a multitude of freak outs. 3 years later and we’re expecting our first child in June. I’m so happy you took the time to really know for sure. Might I suggest you get married quickly. We had a beautiful wedding and planned it in 4 months! We felt after waiting so long to be sure that it wasn’t worth the craziness of having a long engagement! Good luck!

    Reply
  18. Jennyfer

    Andie!

    Congratulations! This is such wonderful news. I’ve been following you now since very nearly almost your very beginning and it’s been wonderful and heartening to see you both together again. I know how that felt…not being sure in your relationship and not knowing what “enough” really means. I feel like I have lived through so many difficulties, joys, and challenges and you let me feel as though I wasn’t alone. When you were going through your breakup, I felt like I was right there with you going through one myself and struggling with the decision right as you were.

    I have also struggled with weight loss and gain, the feeling of fullness and the desire for wholeness. As newly engaged myself, I can’t help but be ecstatic for us both…for the new prospect that this year brings us, how much personal growth that comes in a year, and the excitement at this new beginning of sorts. I am so happy for you and Daniel. I am so happy for all of your success. Please, please keep sharing these poignant personal moments with us. I don’t know about you…but I really can’t wait to see what this year will have in store for us! Many happy blessings to you!

    Reply
    1. Andie Mitchell Post author

      Oh my gosh Jennyfer, you are amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This comment is kinder than I can even thank you for, seriously. Congratulations to YOU on your engagement!!

      I will keep sharing :) xoxoxoxox <3

      Reply
  19. Diana

    I tend to say “You’ll know” when talking to people about marriage. What I knew when I got engaged at 19, was that life was better with him than without him. We just celebrated 36 years, so I guess that theory sufficed.

    By the way…the termite vs dust mite analogy? Spot on. Keep that broom and mindset handy.

    Reply
  20. Krysten

    I have the audiobook version of It was me all along, I just finished listening to it on my flight home yesterday and was so curious how you two found your way back to each other! So happy for you and Daniel! Congrats!

    Reply
  21. Brie

    Although I’m just a reader of your blog and book, I’ve been rooting for Daniel all along (see what I did there?) and wish you nothing but the best and a lifetime of happiness together. Congratulations on your engagement!

    PS – when I was 14, I told my best friend that our mutual friend, Eric, was “not the kind of guy you date…he’s the kind you marry.” Sixteen years later, I’m 30 years old and married to Eric for almost 3 years now. We didn’t start dating until we were both 25, but my 14-year-old-self was on to something! I must have just “known.”

    Reply
  22. Jackie {The Beeroness}

    Oh wow! Congrats. Reading the part about him at your dads grave brought me to actual tears. My dad died when I was a kid and that image just gets to me on such a deep level. What an amazing guy, congrats to you both!

    Reply
  23. andrea @ my kinda perfect

    I finally started to read your book, months after downloading it to my phone. (I’m bad at taking the time to read despite wanting to read YOUR book!) On 1/3, as I sat on a plane and “turned the page” on my phone to chapter 5, reading the words “…when I met him” took my breath away for a moment. Because so much has happened for you, for Daniel, and for the both of you since that moment in real life…even since the book was published…and in that moment I stopped what I was doing to write myself a note in my phone to share with you later (now). It is so beautiful when a story has so many wonderful, real, and life-changing moments…and being able to look back at that moment at UMass and then know in your heart of hearts that Daniel is The One for you because of all the years you’ve shared (both together and apart)…it just makes me really, truly happy for you. I sit here next to my husband, whom I cannot imagine a day without, and I just LOVE that you share a love just as special with Daniel.

    You, my friend, are aw wonderful lady, inside and out. (And that stunner of a ring doesn’t hurt either!) Thank you for sharing your journey — the blog, the book, your heart, all of it. You’re inspiring and I love you for that (you know, as a fan-friend from afar!).

    Thank you for sharing your amazing news!!! Congratulations on your engagement!!! And never, ever stop being the amazing Andrea you are! MUAH!!!

    Reply
  24. jenjenk

    so so so so so beautiful! some times that hardest path is the one that leads to the greatest views!

    thanks for making me cry at work!!!! hoping no one will come by my desk any time soon!! ;)

    congratulations and i love reading this “epilogue” to your book. happiest ending of all!

    Reply
  25. Sharma

    15 years into my marriage, I can tell you that there will be rough times, times when you question if you chose the right person, times when you just want to leave…but there will be so much joy- even in the mundane. The days of nothing much happening, a conversation about whenever I take my pants off, there is always one leg inside out, the way my daughter’s feet look just like his, the time I bought him his favorite yogurt and I got a giant high 5…it’s all beautiful and wonderful and hard and exhausting. But it’s ours and now you will have yours. It’s your story, your history, and your future. Best wishes.

    Reply
  26. Kate O

    Andrea,
    I CANNOT HANDLE THIS POST.
    you reminded me of one my favorite quotes from my favorite book- “When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on–series polygamy–until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.” ” -tom robbins, still life with woodpecker
    I’m just so happy for you two :) let’s all celebrate soon!
    <3 kate

    Reply
  27. Alyssa Wodabel

    It popped up in my time hop that it was a year ago today I read your book in a night. I bought it one evening and stayed up until 3 or 4 Am reading and crying. I felt so much connection to you and your words. Following your ever-changing journey has been so wonderful and now hearing that you two are engaged just seems like the sequel we were all hoping for. I look forward to seeing more of your journey!

    Alyssa

    Reply
  28. Lynn

    Oh, I had hoped for more scoop on the happiest of reunions! I’m so excited for both of you.
    Love evolves. I didn’t get married until I was 33, and 10 years in, I’m still marveling at it all – how each of us has changed, how our roles impact us (lover, parent, care-giver), how there is always something new to know about each other. I’m so thankful that I get to walk through life with someone who puts up with all of my crazy like it doesn’t even faze him.
    I think that truly good guys like Daniel (and my DH) are hard to find, so I am happy for us both! Enjoy this amazing part of the journey!

    Reply
  29. Carol Hansen

    Ahhhhhh! So excited for you! You are going to be one GORGEOUS bride! Thanks for sharing such intimate details of your life from weight struggles, to relationships to all the things that make everyone love you…no wonder he asked you..you are real..and that is the most beautiful thing in the world! Yay can’t wait to hear all about the adventure to the alter…and it is an adventure!

    Finally making your lemon sugar chicken tonight..whoo hoo!

    Reply
  30. Amy @ Thoroughly Nourished Life

    Andie, I’ve been reading since the beginning, and loving the honesty and openness you bring to each sentence you write here. I am so happy for you and Daniel. That you are here, in the right place. You found the stillness in the storm in each other. I recently got engaged too, and after years of running, and hiding and feeling not enough, feeling like I had to keep busy because who I am without all the ‘things to do’ wasn’t enough, I know that I am. I know because of this man. I know because he loves me even when I am buried under my own dust mites. He is my safe harbour. I wish you two a lifetime of happiness together. A lifetime of adventures, and smiles, and still, quiet, perfect moments x

    Reply
  31. Millie Brinkley

    Congratulations to you both! I was saddened when I read your book and learned about the breakup. Just adore happy endings! So thrilled for you and grateful that you shared the happy, happy news!

    Reply
  32. Courtney

    I’m so happy to hear this! I just finished reading your book today and you wrote so beautifully and so poignantly from the heart that it just resonated with me – your story is so much like mine and it was so moving to rad your story, your journey. You are so inspiring and thank you for being so honest and sharing your story, I just hope one day I can be as balanced as you are with your relationship with food and be proud of how far I have come from the chubby teenager I used to be!

    Reply
  33. JoAnn

    Hi I just finished your book and was sad that you and Daniel broke up. I decided to look for your blog and I see that you are engaged! Congratulations, I look forward to your cookbook being published :)

    Reply
  34. Heather W

    Just finished your book so encouraging, especially since I am dealing with my relationship with food. So I thought I would check out your blog and WHAT FUN to see that True Love won! So excited for you both. Would also like to get your thoughts on how to help my young daughter with her food issues! Congrats to you both!

    Reply
  35. Jessica

    Oh, Andie. I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit the tears that came as I read this post. For so much of your journey, I’ve related to you in your struggles and to see you work through them on your own was fantastic enough. To know, though, that you have found this wonderful person to share your life with, makes me so happy. I wish you both the very best, a lifetime of love and adventures, and a home wherever you’re together. Congratulations!!

    Reply
  36. MM

    Oh Andie I am so very very happy and excited for you! I especially love and relate to the importance of Daniel going to your father’s grave. My daughter also struggled with knowing whether she should marry (or even stay with) her boyfriend. But I knew from the beginning that he was the one. How? My amazing husband and soul mate died several years before my daughter and her boyfriend met. My daughter misses her father so very deeply and it has left such a hole in her and affected her relationships and life in so many ways. One of the hardest parts is that no one asks about him (I’m sure you know what I’m talking about). Everyone stays away from the topic out of fear of upsetting us. But not my (now) son-in-law. On their first date, they were talking about their families and she revealed that she had lost her dad (this is something she hates telling people). So on their second date, he sat her down and said “tell me all about your dad.” He wanted to know everything – not about what happened to him, but about who he WAS. I think she talked and talked for hours. She called me crying after the date to tell me. I was stunned – NO ONE does this. I knew he was the one from that minute on. Finally she figured it out too – it just clicked one day that what she needed and wanted was right there with her. They married two years ago and just had their first child. She’s more sure every day that this is right for her. I wish you and Daniel all the best!

    Reply
  37. Nici

    Thank you so much for your book and your beautiful words…it was like reading my own life story, in so many ways. I also studied in Italy for 6 months and was there at the same time as you. Just finished your beautiful memoir tonight and had to find out more…I am so incredibly happy to see this post and know that you two ended up together. Thank you again for the courage to go deep…know that your words mean so much to so many!

    Reply
  38. Rebecca

    I have to be honest with you. When I was listening to your book on Audible, I immediately stopped listening when I heard you broke up with Daniel. I was so mad at you then that I just couldn’t finish. I know looking back now that it’s because I felt exactly about my relationship with my significant other how you now realize you did with Daniel. I projected my own fears about my relationship on you (unknowingly) and correlated the “lack of success” of your relationship to mine. I have gone through a journey of self discovery where I realized the judgments I had of other people and the unrealistic expectations I had for my husband were projections of my own insecurities and disapproval of my self. Reading the way you describe Daniel though, and the unconditional love you have for him is as if you are describing my marriage. I have grown to find so much joy in loving David to be exactly the person he is and to want only for him to be happy and fulfilled in his life independent of me and in our collective relationship. I know we have had so many shared experiences that were only meant for the two of us to go through together.

    Sorry for the novel of a comment. That was therapeutic to write in its own way. A huge mazel tov to you and Daniel and may your life together be a reflection of your unconditional love and mutual respect for each other!

    Reply
  39. Anna

    Congratulations to you both wishing you happiness always and gorgeous ring you deserve it! Enjoy.! I’ve been following you since can you stay for dinner website. What an inspiration!

    Reply
  40. Becky

    Hi Andie! I just finished your book yesterday…couldn’t put it down…and decided to check out your websight today. Seeing the announcement of your engagement to Danny is literally icing on the CAKE. Pun intended. I am so thrilled for you both. It is true. You are soulmates. Very few couples have the history you share. That in itself will only make your marriage stronger. May God continue to bless you both with love, joy, and please please PLEASE…another book all about your love story!

    Reply
  41. Sara

    Hi Andie,
    I’v just finished It Was Me All Along then turned to your blog. I will continue reading, but must first share how ecstatic I am about your engagement! In reading about both times you broke up, I sensed you needed to in order to grow, but fervently hoped you might each find your way back to each other. What guy goes to his beloved’s Dad’s gravesite and tells him how well his daughter has done in her life? That is magical, eternal love. Sounds like something my husband would do, who has been such a rock for me through all my flounderings and foibles. I am so very happy for you
    both!

    Reply
  42. Wanda

    Sigh! Andie, I just finished your book today, Valentine’s Day. (Awesome!) I decided to check out your blog to see if you found someone new, and to my surprise and happy tears, you and Daniel – engaged at last! Congratulations! I was choked up all through the book, relating to weight issues, also having started diets as early as fifth grade with high & low weights and continue the dieting still, age 61. So happy for your mental/spiritual growth and love you so much for sharing your story. I can relate with so many parts on memories with food. You have inspired me to dig a little deeper. Praise the Lord. Be happy during the wedding planning and ever after – you deserve it!

    Reply
  43. Suzanne

    Apparently I am a bit behind! I just finished reading your book this morning and decided to check out your blog/website. I must start off by saying how inspiring your book was. I laughed. I cried. I feel so much of the same things through my own struggle with weight and self acceptance. You have such a beautiful way of writing.
    Anyways, just wanted to say congratulations on your engagement! I’ll admit I was a little upset when you guys broke up in the book so I’m so glad it all worked out. He seems wonderful and I wish you the best!
    I look forward to reading (and catching up on) your blog and recipes.
    -suzanne

    Reply
  44. Teryn

    Yay!!!! I just finished your book. A friend forbid me to check out your blog before I was done. I have to say I was pretty mad at you for breaking up with Daniel. I’m so happy you have found your way back to one another! :)

    Reply
  45. Danielle

    Just now got around to reading this post. Congratulations to you both!!! I read your book and it sounds like you’ve been on an incredible journey. Wishing y’all much love and success over the years to come!

    Reply
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  47. Julie

    Like many of the other commenters, I just finished your book & decided to come check out the blog mainly to tell you how affected I was by the book… but back to that in a min. When I saw that you & Daniel are back together (& planning your wedding!), I was thrilled but not at all surprised. It is so clear from your book that you two were meant to be together. I think I would have been more surprised to come to your blog & discover that you hadn’t found your way back to each other.
    Now about that book… :) It was a little hard for me to read because I related SO closely to so much of it. I was overweight for a majority of my childhood & early adulthood (although I didn’t have the family problems you did) and the feelings your book resurrected were so raw. Being the fat girl is such a painful experience. Having to shop in the plus-size stores while all your friends eat whatever they want & stay so skinny (hello genetics). Basically just hating yourself. I had the same food addiction/overeating/using food as a soothing mechanism. Your descriptions of grocery shopping in order to binge on everything & the feelings that generated… well everything just hit home SO MUCH. I almost felt like I was looking over my shoulder while reading – like someone had written this book about me. I too found exercise (too much) & restricted my food intake (hello fat-free fad & calorie counting – only 1,000 calories a day). The weight came off & I experienced the same euphoria you did, but who can maintain that kind of lifestyle??? I lost it & gained it all back more times than I can count (talk about devastating!). I’m so happy to say that something clicked several yrs ago (I think I just wore myself out), & I finally GET IT! I eat intuitively now, exercise because it makes me feel good (& not to excess) & I thoroughly enjoy a treat from time to time w/ NO regrets! I never in a million years thought I’d be able to enjoy a piece of cake at a wedding without breaking out into a cold sweat fearing it would send me into a spiral of overindulgence & that before I knew it I’d be fat again (ha ha maybe because that’s exactly what happened over & over). Now I don’t think twice about it because I know that that 1 indulgence is not going to make me fat & that my body craves the healthy foods I eat 90% of the time because that’s what makes me feel good. It is SO FREEING to not have that guilt & shame associated w/ food anymore. That has changed my life more than anything.
    Well that was a rather LONG way of saying I really loved your book (despite it being a bit painful to read). While I was living it I certainly never imagined there were other people out there having the same struggles I was. Bless you.

    Reply
  48. Patricia

    I just finished your book and the only part of the book I did not like was your breakup with Daniel. I so much wanted to know how he was SOOO I am so happy that there is a happy new beginning. Best wishes to the two of you!

    Reply
  49. Meg

    I appreciate all the wonderful advice you have provided in your memoir … Here’s a bit back at you … Please stop breaking up! When the going is difficult – that is when you need to be by each others’ sides … I have been with the same man since meeting him in a university class 35 years ago, and there was never a day when either of us, no matter what, would have walked away … Please consider this as you move forward together xoxo

    Reply
  50. Maggi Brown

    Dear Andie,
    I just finished your book on Audible, which I’m trying to get my daughters, who are closer to your age, to read. I loved your well-told (and very inspirational) story and right after I finished listening to the last chapter, I came home from my walk and searched up “Getting Back Together with Daniel” on your blog. Happy, I found this post. Great news. Congrats on your marriage. From everything I have read (listened to) in your book, he’s the one. And the fact that you had to be apart up for a while? Meant to be.
    Thank you for a terrific book and a terrific blog. Can’t wait to dive into it.

    Reply
  51. Joni Thurber

    This makes me so happy! Just tonight Daniel and your breakup crossed my mind. I wondered how he was doing these days. I’d just finished the book over the weekend and thought about the exposure of your relationship, the breakup and how Andie had moved on (by the end of the book). I hadn’t yet googled Andie to follow up on all my curiosities the evolved as I’d listened to your book.

    Then after I read the crudités recipe, I continued my original purpose of googling you and saw a post about a honeymoon. My heart sank and at the same time I scolded myself for not allowing you to move on. But with a little more probing my heart grew as I saw evidence that was leading toward Daniel. Congrats to you both. That’s another book!

    Reply
  52. Sheri

    I read your book and was left with noooooo!!!!! It can’t be! The ending was all wrong! I sat with it for days and then finally thought…..Well. What happened next? It wasn’t that easy to find. But I finally did. The universe has been righted! I’m so happy for you both and your beautiful family. Your impacts are huge with your memoir and im do happy that you two figured things out. Thank you!!!

    Reply

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