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I’ve learned three things today. One: candy corn is a sign that human beings were meant to be happy. Two: my debit card is not the same as the one that I had in the game Mall Madness. Three: The grocery store is a battlefield. For your sake, I’ll only elaborate on the third lesson.
I used to love the grocery store. I really did. I could push a cart up and down those neatly lined aisles for hours if not half a day in quite the joyous state. It was an exploration of new food, a search for menu inspiration, a chance to kibitz with kindly strangers about the unit price of cereal. I probably knew the supermarket staff in an oddly intimate way. And having lived in four states in one year’s time, I know the price differences of product brands and markets so well that I should probably consider a trip to The Price is Right. I could really use a six piece dinette set.
Think of me as a supermarket maven, if you will.