The Truest Representation of Me

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I tend not to re-publish old posts. But this from July of last year…well, this one means the world to me. And since it’s my party, I’ll make myself cry if I want to.

 

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Sometimes standard sized mugs aren’t large enough for the amount of tea I want to guzzle. Other times, all my mugs are dirty.

This past summer I traveled to Las Vegas with Daniel and when my camera battery died upon arrival, I relied on Daniel’s iPhone. But late on Saturday night, as I was thumbing through those fuzzy photographs of food and pools and semi-prostitutes to email to myself, I uncovered dozens upon dozens of snapshots he’d taken of an unknowing me.

At first I was taken aback by the rawness of a pajama-ed, wild-haired me. Unposed and unprepared. Doing everything from eating to reading to sleeping. And then I realized that these photographs are quite special. Because they capture the days I didn’t think to document. Those times that go unmentioned, seemingly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, but they speak volumes about my identity. Random images taken throughout the last year. They don’t have stories and archived memories, but they’re the in-betweens of my life.

And as hilarious and unnerving as finding them has been, I see them to be… the truest representation of me.

 

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Sometimes I can’t see things as closely as I’d like. But unfortunately, moving the screen closer to your face does not make anything clearer or easier to read. It only makes others consider taking a photo of you because of the absurdity.

 

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Certainly the most excited being to ever have gazed through the window of the oven’s door. And if the sheer joy on my face isn’t revealing enough, what does my outfit say about me? Everything.

 

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Because I have a penchant for sitting on my counter and eating frozen strawberries.

 

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The beautiful moment when I saw my name in the credits of a movie for the first time. The big screen snapshot that brought me so much joy. Thinking of my dad, who loved movies and would have been so proud.  “Shutter Island”

 

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Laughing.

 

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And laughing.

 

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And laughing.

 

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How unruly my long johns can be.

 

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Bowls are for the birds.

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A glass of water at 3am on a Wednesday.

 

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A day in Seattle. I must have just gotten in from the rain. Looking cold and beguiled. I think Daniel thought the braid made me look like Pocahantas. I agreed.

 

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Perhaps what is most beautiful about these photographs isn’t that they are a sneak peak inside my daily life, but that Daniel finds my life worth documenting. Not what I look like or what I’m doing in particular, but my zaniness. The quirks. The simple facts that I drink tea out of large measuring cups, tuck my thermal pants into my socks, wear extra large tee shirts that read “Somebody who loves me very much went to Calgary Canada and got me this shirt,” and sit cross-legged in front of my oven door to watch my cupcakes dome.

In not even one photo was I dressed well. What about that time I wore a dress? No more than two involved a “cheeeeeeese.” Each was just something he found worthwhile, something funny, because he finds me to be the funniest person he’s ever met. Not in the way of “Hey, you’re really witty,” or “Good joke!” But because I’m slightly crazy.

Eccentric.

And now,

I realize, lucky too.

Because someone loves that about me.

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43 thoughts on “The Truest Representation of Me

  1. Natasha

    love this post.
    and I’m jealous of your eyebrows that are amazing in every one of these photos. if someone documented me similarly the same could not be said.

    Reply
  2. Anneliesz

    First off: Shutter Island? Yeah, your dad would have been proud. :) There is something to be said about the people who come in closer than most and the ways they see us. It is a gift to us as well, kind of like hearing our voices recorded. Beck and I enjoy the long arm iphone pic. While there might be only part of a smile, half a nose or part of his face cut off, they are all everyone of them keepers.

    Reply
  3. Kristina @ spabettie

    SO beautiful… I love this so much!

    Jason does this too… takes photos of me when I am unprepared or unknowing… I am seeing this in a much different way now, and I will not say “aw, delete that!!” anymore…

    <3

    Reply
  4. Frieda

    while reading this post i made a thousand “aw thats so adorable” sounds. a big applause to great boyfriends and a big applause for you for posting such honest stuff :)

    Reply
  5. johnny

    Last post I replied that I wondered if Daniel knew what he was getting into. This post answeres that question in a most beutiful way. Never stop being the way you are and that would make your Dad more proud than all the movie credits in the world!
    I will never get tired of reading this post, you make my day when you have so much fun making yours! :)

    Reply
  6. Dot

    Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I am now going to get my camera out and take photos of my beautiful daughters, doing what they do everyday. It’s the “everydays” with our loved ones that we remember / miss the most. Again, thank you for opening my eyes to my “everyday moments”.

    Reply
  7. healthifiedhaven

    Beautiful! My husband often does that to me and then he’ll text me the image. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I get angry because it’s the most awful angle and I look terrible. Maybe I’ll reconsider those photos next time.

    Reply
  8. Jessica

    What a lovely post! I am new to your blog but I just adore it!! You are such a wonderful writer, and, your recipes…fab!
    It is nice to know I am not the only person who sits in front of the oven door dressed like that!

    Reply
  9. paul jennette

    I LOVE this post! Its really great and reassuring to see someone’s everyday life. I don’t think I ever drank anything out of a measuring cup, but I do stare into the oven, sit on the counter and being from Chicago I do tuck my socks into long underwear.Big thanks to you and Daniel for sharing! Paulie

    Reply
  10. Abby

    Loved this post!! And I love that he loves all these parts of you. True love! We are preparing to move and this has been a great reminder to not throw out the photos of me where I look silly. These are pictures of me as I live my life!

    Reply
  11. Liz @ Tip Top Shape

    I remember reading this when you first posted it and I still am getting all mushy. This is such a beautiful post!! You are very lucky to have found someone like Daniel. Here’s to hoping the rest of us girl out here can be that lucky! lol

    Reply
  12. Deanna D.

    This post made me smile. It is always nice to realize how lucky I am to have someone that loves me. Kind of the best feeling, huh?

    Reply
  13. Dishes of Mrs. Fish

    I loved this post. Sometimes it just takes my breath away to know my husband loves me just as I am. Even if just as I am means I’m covered in powdered sugar after an afternoon of baking, crying because I’ve had a horrible day at work, or when I’ve made him scones for the 80th time and I wake him up at ungodly how hour by banning and clanging my way around our kitchen on Saturday morning.
    :)

    Reply
  14. hungryhealthyhappy

    This is incredible. What a beautiful, incredible expression of love. I can only imagine what it was like for you to find these photos and realize how deep Daniel’s love for you really is. Thank you for re-posting! I would have been sad to miss this.

    Reply
  15. Nik Nik

    Such a beautiful post! I had a moment myself realizing how special it is to be loved, in the middle of the night when I’d returned from the bathroom with very cold feet, to find my husband sliding his feet closer to them to warm them up. Soooo lucky!
    Thanks for sharing these sweet and wonderful pictures.

    Reply
  16. Natalie @ 20 Something

    I almost cried. That was really touching.

    I think that realizing you’re loved and worthy of love from another human is a huge step in letting go of a relationship with food.

    Since I started reading your blog a month ago I have slowly been breaking up my co-dependent relationship with food. Slowly but surely I’m working on it. So thanks for being a strong and positive person, because you and your blog are really making a difference in my life.

    Reply
  17. MelissaNibbles

    This is such a beautiful post. You are beautiful in every picture. I think my favorite is the one on the counter. You look like you’re debating whether or not you made the right sock selection.

    Reply
  18. Lu

    I love this post. There is something to honest in posting unposed pictures of yourself. You’re beautiful so it would still be hard to find a bad one of you. I love the long john picture. I feel that way often. This also makes me want to look at my husband’s phone, and see what I find.

    Reply
  19. Bethany

    I’m so happy that you decided to repost this. How sweet! It’s amazing how such a little thing like unknowingly taking a picture of someone during their quirky-but-adorable moments can actually be one of the best expressions of love. You definitely are lucky to have someone who adores you like that!

    Reply
  20. Halley

    You’re gorgeous and it’s great how Daniel does appreciate those sweet quirky moments.

    Love how you posted pics of yourself was trying to put a face to the great stories!

    Reply
  21. Halley

    You’re gorgeous and it’s great how Daniel does appreciate those sweet quirky moments.

    Love how you posted pics of yourself was trying to put a face to the great stories!

    It’s a classic!

    Reply
  22. Joelene B.

    Wonderful. Heart-warming. Beautiful. Love. Now I can see why my boyfriend Trev feels the need to take shocking (well, i think they’re horrible) photos of me in my baggy shirts and slippers, with my mouth full of food. Because you’re absolutely spot on. That’s what he loves about me. And what Daniel loves about you. That we’re just ourselves. Never stop being the amazing person you are! xx

    Reply

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