Just like with James, morning sickness, or more appropriately, all day sickness, has hit me like a ton of bricks. The past three months I’ve felt nauseous and headachy around the clock. But you know what? I’m grateful for it. When I was pregnant last fall, before I miscarried, I had no nausea (only heartburn). I had heard that could happen, that some women have two completely different pregnancies with completely different symptoms. I still had the fatigue, after all. So now, even though morning sickness is no fun and it certainly makes taking care of a toddler interesting, I’m happy to feel the symptoms because they’re like little signs that this sweet baby is growing. I’ll take it.
Unfortunately this website doesn’t allow me to insert a massive, ever-flashing neon sign, but if it did, that sign would read, “CARBS!!!!” Carbs, carbs, carbs, baby. Second to that, my biggest craving thus far has been for sushi, which yes, is terribly poor timing (pregnant women are advised not to eat raw fish) so for the most part, I’ve just mourned all the delicious rolls I crave. A few times I caved and paid something like $5,000 for a chef’s special cooked sushi roll from this great Japanese place nearby and it truly hit the spot.
Other cravings worth noting:
Mashed potatoes (preferably with gravy—oh and stuffing if it’s not too much trouble…you know what, actually, just bring me a whole Thanksgiving dinner if we’re getting into it).
Meatloaf. I cannot count the number of meat loaves I’ve made over the past month because then I would have to confront my problem.
Tuna salad sandwiches with about a million pickles.
Coffee. I still have a cup in the morning, and every once in a while I’ll get a small iced coffee if I’m out in the afternoon (certainly not out at all lately), but otherwise, coffee just isn’t appealing and it makes me feel queasy.
One thing I’ve noticed during this pregnancy is that I’m so, so hungry. I can’t remember a time when I felt so ravenous so often. Some of the hunger is a natural part of pregnancy and the hormone shifts that we experience, and some of it might be a side effect of feeling exhausted all the time (fatigue is another symptom of pregnancy). Whatever the reason, I eat. And that’s all fine and good, but it gets tricky when the hunger and cravings begin to feel like they’re triggering my old binge eating patterns. I’ve gained about 20 pounds in this first trimester and I’ll be honest, I go through waves of acceptance and panic depending on the day. However, my weight is literally the exact same, week to week and month to month, as it was when I was pregnant with James, which makes me wonder how much control we really have over our pregnancy bodies. And ultimately, who cares? Weight comes and weight goes.