For the first two weeks of Levi’s life, Daniel and I looked at each other, shook our heads in disbelief, and said, “Now THIS is an easy baby.” We remembered how hard it was when James was a newborn. He was perfect in every way and we loved him like crazy…but he never slept. I remember friends and family would visit and ask, “So is he just sleeping ‘round the clock?” No, nooo, I’d say, not even close. James came out of the birth canal wide awake and ready to see the sites of life. But Levi—Levi didn’t even open his eyes for the first two days. He didn’t fuss, didn’t seem to need much at all—he just slept. He didn’t even cry in the car, like James always had. Daniel and I were so surprised, so happily, happily surprised. Relieved even! By the time he was a week and a half, still a sleepy little lamb, we really thought we had it made in the shade. Sure he projectile vomited every day, but his brother spit up all the time, too, and as with any symptom you google, it could be normal (or an immediate medical emergency…but probably normal…). And then.
Right around the two-and-a-half-week mark, it all changed. Levi was awake—and he wasn’t happy about it. It was like he wanted nothing more than to sleep but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d start to drift off and then his body would fight desperately to hold on to alertness. It was like we were witnessing his mind and his body wrestle. Suddenly he could not sleep unless he was in our arms, which wasn’t that out of the norm for us, since James wanted to be held, too. He was a newborn after all. But the holding became more and more of a constant, urgent need. He began crying uncontrollably, inconsolable for most of the day, every day. He’d pull his legs up to his chest and writhe in discomfort. The projectile vomiting continued. Nothing soothed him.
So we changed formulas, to something gentler. It took half a week—maybe more—to take effect, but slowly he stopped throwing up. He seemed to be in less discomfort after he ate. But the crying didn’t stop. We went to the doctor for his one month well visit. We love our pediatrician. She’s been our doctor for the past two years with James. And when Daniel told her all that was happening with Levi she nodded, understanding, and said, “It sounds to me like classic colic.”
Colic.
I can’t tell you how many times I found myself, at 3am, googling, “How to tell if my baby has colic.” In my family, colic is talked about like a living nightmare, like a disease you pray you don’t get. My brother was colicky. My niece, too. This cousin, that cousin, so-and-so’s sister’s son. Colic is what I feared.
And yet, hearing the pediatrician say it was oddly calming. Validating. It relieved me to know that likely nothing more was the matter with our baby. For a week I’d asked Daniel repeatedly, “What if he has something wrong? Like really wrong.” We wondered. And of course, there is always worse. So when the doctor said colic, I was reassured that no, fortunately, it wasn’t worse. It was just a challenge that we’d make it through. She told us it tends to last 3 or 4 months, that it usually peaks at 6 weeks, that there are a lot of things people will recommend trying, but from her experience, sometimes babies just, well, cry for 3…maybe 6…months.
We started giving him a probiotic and these colic drops that stain everything I own. I have discovered that everything I own is light colored. I don’t know if either works because he’s still crying, but one thing they do do, is make me feel like I’m trying. And that’s something.
The one thing that seems to help is bouncing him on the exercise ball. He likes to be cradled and bounced vigorously. He still might fuss and cry a little but the screaming usually stops. We have an upstairs ball and a downstairs ball and my vertebrae are smashed to dust, but at least there is something we can do.
Daniel and I are essentially passing him back and forth between us, holding him and bouncing him for almost all of his sleep because if we don’t (and we’ve tried), he will cry to seemingly no end. Daniel takes the first shift of the night, until 3am, and then I get up with him. On a good day, Levi will do one period of sleep of 2-3 hours at the beginning of the night, which is an improvement from a month ago.
Overall he is trending in a better direction. He has less periods of intense crying and more ability to de escalate. But Christmas Eve was a low point. We were at my parents and didn’t have the precious exercise ball, so when he started to get upset, he couldn’t stop. We tried walking, running, jumping, rocking, but nothing could calm him so we had to leave early and the heartbreaking ride home with one son screaming and the other blocking his ears and quietly singing to himself was a low point in this parenting experience.
So as it turns out, colic is a living nightmare. That’s the way it feels. It’s impossible to imagine how stressful it is without experiencing it, and I know that now. The shrieking and crying, the powerless feeling of not being able to soothe your precious tiny baby, the 24 hours a day of it and not knowing if or when it will end…it’s hard. It’s isolating. I’ve talked to other moms who have been diagnosed as having PTSD after going through particularly bad colic, and I can understand why.
It might be a bit easier if we weren’t also trying to care for and engage with a two-year-old, or if we weren’t in a pandemic where no one can really come over and help or just distract us from the crying, but hey, nobody said it would be easy. And really, it’s all going to be OK. All of this is survivable. If nothing else, it brings Daniel and me even closer. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t look at him and think, oh thank God for you.
We’re still hanging in there, living fiercely in the present moment, one moment at a time, and not thinking ahead because that only creates anxiety. We’re tired. Sometimes it feels like my body is pumping out adrenaline and cortisol nonstop. I have had some incredibly low moments where I really feel incapable of being a mom in this situation, at least the kind of mom I want to be. I wish I had endless patience and compassion but there are times where I just can’t take the screaming anymore and hand him off to Daniel and head to the basement and cry. But as bad as it is, I’m not hopeless. I think things are improving. It’s the gift of the second child: knowing that nothing lasts forever. And listen, there’s still a whole lotta joy around here. This is what it is to be a parent. I will do anything—everything—for these tiny, unbelievably lovable beings we made, even if that means I lose sleep and many, many brain cells in the process :)
Hi Andie, My son had a lot of the same issues you describe with Levi. I had a 3 month checkup appointment for him and right beforehand, he had some blood in his stool. It scared me and I was glad to be heading straight into the doctor’s office. My doctor told me he was certain our son had a milk allergy and the formula I was feeding him had milk in it. I guess most do. So we switched to a hypoallergenic formula (we bypassed soy completely because some infants have both milk and soy allergies so we didn’t want to risk it). Within a few days – maybe a week – he was significantly better. The hypoallergenic formula (Alimentum) was three times the cost of the regular formula but we would have paid ANYTHING to get his tummy feeling better. I’m sure you’ll be getting lots of comments/suggestions but I thought it couldn’t hurt to share my experience with you just in case it helps. Sending you lots of love (even though you don’t know me) from mom to mom.
This is almost the exact same for us but we had to try l the formulas for weeks at a time before we finally got the correct one. Nutramigen was expensive but we would have put a second mortgage on our home by that point. As soon as we switched – 75% improvement. Like magic.
Oh I’m so sorry. Both my boys had comic and it was so terrible. We found removing dairy/soy (& eggs for my youngest) helped and adding reflux medication. Infant massage helped as well-https://www.healthline.com/health/baby/baby-massage-for-gas-2.
Hugs to you. It’s so hard as a mom especially with a 2 year old too!
Email me if you want to chat more.
I completely feel your pain! My son (who is now 33) had colic that lasted the entire first 6 months of his life. It was an eternity. There were days during the warmer weather when I would put him safely in his crib and sit out on the front step just to breathe and get away. The guilt never ended…always thinking it was something I didn’t know how to do, especially when we saw other babies the same age just cooing and smiling all over. The one thing that helped my son was a wind-up swing. I’m sure modern swings are not as manual, but swinging gave us all peace. Once we got one, he spent many naps and even into the night swinging away. Be strong and know that this, too, shall end!
Oh this hit home so much. Both my kids had colic (now 3and 5) and it felt like a living hell. I cried, I shouted, I melted down, I’m sure I had undiagnosed pnd. And I felt so alone, no one else’s baby seemed to be like that. So sending you love and sympathy. For what it’s worth, one day you realise you’re on the other side and it’s truly glorious. Xx
Oh Andie! What an impossible, beautiful time. Sending you all the compassion I can. My daughter, now 2.5, didn’t officially have colic, but she was not a happy baby and it was so difficult. I cannot imagine full colic, with a toddler you’re also trying to love and parent. I wish you a short round of colic for poor Levi, and a quiet, good night’s sleep very soon. Until then, you’ll be in my thoughts.
All the mums tell me removing dairy from mothers diet if still feeding and baby’s diet if not…..
Hi!
Both of my babies had colic and although I was told there wasn’t much to be done, we found that switching to elecare (hypoallergenic formula— available at Walmart) and adding in heartburn medication (baby Zantac liquid- prescription from doctor) changed our life. Within a week they both had significantly reduced periods of crying. Also, I know it isn’t recommended but they were able to get some sleep in the swing because it supported them in a somewhat upright position. Hope this helps! Hang in there!
Hi Andie, Sending you a lot of sympathy. It is SO hard, I remember. My daughter would get colic towards the end of the day. We were advised to use Infacol (https://www.infacol.co.uk) and it worked every single time. Infacol saved our sanity! I live In Amsterdam, The Netherlands, so don’t know if you can get it in the States, but surely something like it if not. Best wishes.
I had a colic baby and yes I cried a lot. It was a nightmare. You are not alone. If frustrating that you cannot fix it. Step away and go outside and take a break. The baby will cry whether you are there holding him or not. Take turns walking around the neighborhood. My son always cried from 5pm to 11pm. My son had difficulty taking naps with colic amd falling asleep. So we tried this one day. We changed him, fed him, burped him all was fine perfectly to have him fall asleep on his own. We finally let him cry himself to sleep. It took him 1.5 hours of crying to sleep. Best thing we ever did. He eventually after a week started to fall asleep on his own. The colic lessened and our beautiful baby boy was sleeping on his own. Take breaks and go outside. He will be ok and no you will not be a bad mother. We all need breaks and with the pandemic, no sitters, no grandparents to help it’s suffocating. So take the two year old outside have fun and the baby will be ok. Hugs , this colic stuff is the devil testing us be strong and it will pass and yes it’s ok to cry.
Our firstborn had colic and it almost did us in. We would later find out he also had a severe egg allergy and the two combined made him so miserable. My husband and I would take turns getting up and sleeping. I was also dealing with a C-section recovery and other issues so we just didn’t connect all the dots. He projectile vomited, seemed so upset after eating, we pumped his legs, used colic drops, swung him back and forth in the car seat, rocked him in the car seat (to give our arms a break!). We tried so many ways to get him to sleep…and were exhausted. We were given the Harvey Karp method of soothing a baby which did seem to ease some of his discomfort and gave us something to try, https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/the-5-s-s-for-soothing-babies. The colic did peak at around 6 weeks and we proceeded to do a modified sleep training schedule with him that worked wonders for all of us. We had two really rough nights and then he became the best sleeper of our three kids! (And yes, we went on to have two more children, neither of which had colic, so there’s that!)
My now 5- year old had colic. She cried for 4 straight hours ever night starting around 6pm. The only thing that seemed to help was bouncing on the exercise ball but we couldn’t do it for hours! I remember one day we realized it hadn’t happened for a few days and just like that it was over. It was pure torture at the time and all I did was google but nothing helped!
Hi Andie, sorry you’re wrestling with this. Did you try the Dr. Brown’s bottle – it’s wonderful and helps with the spitting up which, in turn, helps with the colic. (Made to lessen gas.) Also, make sure you don’t shake or bounce him too much around the time he eats. Ditto for the bottle, make sure any bubbles settle. In the case of my baby, once she felt better, she stops fussing and was game-changing for us.
Good luck!
Our third child had very similar symptoms. It helped her tremendously when we got her a life nest for her bed.
She also took baby Zantac liquid and we had an upright rocker that she slept in too. The life nest and the rocker kept her body at the perfect angle so she could sleep in peace.
When she was ten months old we discovered that she has a dairy allergy.
Andie: You’re a good mommy. The best Your baby. Levi, is adjusting to this new crazy world and perhaps it is Colic. We know it ends at some point, Thank GOD…but in the meantime, I appreciate all the Mom’s giving you the great advice and remedies that helped their baby. I can’t stress how important it is for you to take an hour or so to escape. I know you have 2…perhaps James would enjoy a chilly stroller walk…fresh air, nature is good for your brain. Please try and take a breather.. (even 30 mins can help so much). I pray for you…. as this too shall pass. Stick to what your gut tells you. Mama knows best. Daniel is a good Daddy, and you are lucky and blessed to lean on each other. One day at a time Mama… you’ll get there. Hugs
A wind-up swing really helped our daughter with colic. She loved it!
Also, I realized that when I vacuumed, she completely stopped crying.
Try any and everything. You will get through it.
Love and prayers to you.
OMG Colic is from HELL!!!! I remember 3 specific times with colic with my first child. 1. thinking it would be a great soothing idea to walk down to park where they did a summer theater with music and lights not a great idea so much stimulation BIG MISTAKE walk back to house was fun!!! 2. one day we kept passing her back and forth say no you take her no you take her. 3. Me sitting on the front steps baby in her crib screaming and the mail lady walking up the driveway saying things will get better. Mean while I have tear stained face. Yes, it does get better but for those months are long and hard. You can do it girl. We also had the projectile vomiting or those months and I carried a denim sheet with me when we visited anyone and spread it out on there carpet so it would not get stained by those drops. You are living my life back in 1996/1997. Hugs for you!!!
Just writing to say that I’ve been there! I’m a pediatrician so I knew all of the medical stuff behind colic and extended periods of crying…and it was still so hard! Hang in there. My daughter also loved being bounced on the exercise ball — my husband and I watched the entire series of The Wire while bouncing up and down! We joke about it now that she’s five! :)
Oh my dear – my thoughts and prayers are with you. My daughter, now aged 41, also had the colic until she was about 5 months old. At 4:00 pm she would begin shrieking and it would last until about 1:00 -2:00 am; she was not crying but absolutely shrieking at the top of her lungs, and I could almost set the clock by her beginning at 4:00 pm every day … So – I do know what you are going through now. My husband I did the bouncing while in place, bouncing while walking, swinging from side to side, jouncing on the bed, etc. Nothing worked. And I thought it would last forever. And most nights, I cried right along with her…
The most important thing that someone told me, to get me through it, was to remember, when even in the worst of it, that it positively would NOT last forever. I only had to get through 1 minute at a time, and time would pass… I finally decided that if, at the end of 1 minute, we were both (my child and I) still alive, that that was all I could hope for. And then I just counted off the minutes. And time did pass. But the colic of a beloved baby is not something a mom forgets …
So – I will continue to think of you and pray for this to get easier. And, in the meanwhile, time will pass. You Go Girl!
Colic is a frustrating condition that unfortunately affects poor little babies and can cause much dissension in families. Both my son and daughter suffered from colic. The Dr.s changed their formulas, my daughter precribed Donnatal, but it didn’t help as much as we hoped. My former husband had no sympathy for the baby or me. His family thought me being a nurse would make me an expert mother. Obviously, that didn’t happen so I was criticized by them. It was my fault my baby cried and not being satisfied with my care. I was a horrible mother while my then sister-in-law had a placid little boy who ate, smiled, cooed, and slept peacefully. My own mother was not much help either. My children cried for 3-6 hours every night for 5 months. It was a traumatic time in my life. We must assure mothers that it isn’t their fault that babies have colic. Mothers feel guilty enough, most having to return to work when the baby is 6 weeks old. This adds to their feelings of being overwhelmed.
My daughter’s 2 girls both suffered from colic. They were both given Alimentim which did help some. My children, as well as granddaughters, grew up to be healthy and well adjusted but my son is 52 and I can still remember this awful time in my life.
My long time ago baby had it too. She roared for an hour a night, 9-10pm. Same as lady above, you could have set your clock by it!
When she was 6 months, it had lessened a lot, but could get a sore tum at anytime of day. Then as part of a baby massage class there was a little colic move. I used this for the next few months to help her. I mean, she screamed when the wind moved, but i reckoned a couple of minutes was easier on her than a couple of hours. Take care xx
Just reading your comments brought back so many memories. Our baby girl, who is now 35, was our third child and bedtime was a nightmare. If she’d been our first she may have been our last! For us it started every night between 10-11 PM. probably between 2 and 3 weeks of age. We’d get up, take turns rocking her, etc. Our doctor recommended a baby swing. We’d never had a need for one with our first two children. It made a world of difference! Then, at 4 months of age, it QUIT. We couldn’t believe we’d slept through the night and not been wakened at all. Just like that she slept like a doll from that point forward. We don’t know why she had it but there were many times – nights/days when we were numb with exhaustion. During the time you’re going through this it feels like it will never end but amazingly it seems to stop just as fast as it starts! You will make it through this. Once you’re through this period it’s soon erased from your memory and life is better from then on. Good luck!
Hi Andie,
Keep strong & you are doing great! My first born daughter was very colic..it was like clock work 4-7pm screaming baby (my husband still remembers) for 3 months…it was horrible…we had all these poses my mom taught me; exercise ball, long walks…etc…driving was the worst…she would cry all the time & only slept on my chest until 9 months when my husband returned from deployment (he left when she was 3 months for 6 month deployment) My mother said I was very colic…bottom line…the crying will end…keep strong. We later discovered that my daughter was allergic to cats & we had cats? I breastfed my daughter & she’s now 11…there is hope; I had my second daughter 2 years later and she was such an easy baby! Slept 8 hours at 6 weeks hold! Not at all colic & just so easy! Keep the faith! Military Mom & Veteran life; flying solo is rough with no family. Keep strong & keep the faith! Both my girls 9 & 11 are both thriving!
HI Andi –
From my nanny days, dealing with people and friends who were having problems with colic babies – this is the book they all sweared by https://www.happiestbaby.com/products/the-happiest-baby-book-paperback
As well as swaddling ….
Hang in there Mama!!! It does get better …
Oh Andy! I feel you…i can relate so much to everything you said…i had a little boys in april last year & for the first 5 months it was just so hard…seeing him in so much pain
But in fact it doesnt last forever…he is now a healthy and happy 9 Month old baby !
HANG ON YOU CAN DO IT
GOD WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU
Boy, can I related!! Oh, how I can relate.
Instead of going to another room, we took turns going outside (in the winter – yep) so we couldn’t hear the crying at all; or get in our vehicle for a short drive. It DOES get better; hang in there!!
I’m so sorry Levi has colic. My first was colicky (she’s almost 5 now). One day we had some friends over and one casually mentioned “oh, she’s just a little colicky” like it was no big deal (I had no idea, btw) and my jaw just dropped. It will get better, eventually. My second (9 months) is not colicky (thankfully) and the sleep regressions & teething remind me of how easy of a baby she is normally.
This too shall pass. And some day you’ll look back and miss these days even if they’re hard now!
I’m so so sorry to hear this. I can relate 100 percent. Thinking back on my daughter’s first year of life I shudder and wonder how any of us survived. I am no medical professional but I will echo what others have said – my daughter ended up being diagnosed with several food allergies as well as reflux. Changing my diet and putting her on medication for reflux was night and day for us. My G used to spit up all day and night, too, and cry cry cry. Also, this we inclined her crib slightly with a wedge under the mattress to help with the reflux. We also used a towel rolled into a ‘U’ shape underneath the crib sheet to keep her in place. Good luck. As you know, this too shall pass.
Andie, I really admire the way you are focusing on positives, even while going through this incredibly challenging phase, in this incredibly challenging global environment. Your relationship with Daniel, the ‘second-child’ wisdom, the living in the moment and the overwhelming love for your beautiful boys will all have their moments in the sun and continue to get you through, one step at a time. Letting the excess emotion flow out of your eyes, which is how my sisters and I refer to cathartic crying, is not only smart but helpful too. You are one smart lady, who continues to make wonderful choices for her family. All strength to you! Thanks for sharing.
Wendy
Adelaide
South Australia
WoW! You have a lot of help… We’re with you – AND – this will be over in a minute, or at least it feels that way.
First-time commenter here to just lend another message of support. My first had colic, though not as bad as yours, and it was brutal. My mom flew cross-country every other week to come help. I can’t provide much advice except what my mom told me (while trying to hide a smile, because I’d done the same thing to her as a baby), which is that he won’t do this when he’s 18. Our daughter is now nearly 9 years old, and she went from the crankiest baby on the planet to the sweetest, most even-tempered, most positive, happiest kid I’ve ever dealt with. I often think she used up all her crankiness in her first 6 months and there was none left. Hopefully your experience will be similar. It WILL end.
First time comment from me too. I’m seventy and I still remember our colicky first baby! He’s doing fine now by the way. Married, has an MBA, kids off to college. And he sleeps through the night. ;)
This was exactly like my oldest son, your story hit home with me. Even down to Christmas Eve and being at my parents house with no exercise ball. We literally waited in line at Walmart on Christmas Eve after church to buy one. It was miserable. They told us it was reflux and put him on medicine. Turns out he had a severe milk allergy, and was also allergic to soy, eggs and peanuts. I was breastfeeding and gave up all the foods he was allergic too and it helped a ton.
Only piping in to say it gets better! Do your best and cry if you feel like it. Suggestions if you need more: run the vacuum (weirdly calming) or hold the baby in the seat as the dryer spins, hold baby on his belly and flex his legs/baby yoga. You’ll get through it!
nice post , thanks for sharing
My first son was the same. I was a new mom in shock, with severe PPD caused by almost zero sleep, a traumatic birth, and lost in an endless ocean of screaming. My husband started a new job working as a manager in a store an hour away, so he was gone for 12 hours and I was left (starting in the darkening days of Autumn) with a super colicky baby and no help. It was the hardest, darkest time of my life. Sometimes at 1am I would stand in the driveway with my ears covered, crying, waiting for my husband to pull into the driveway so I could step away.
He’s five now—brilliant, hilarious, and unique. His temperament is challenging and he’s a very intense and stubborn person. But he’s truly amazing and sensitive and has a life force I have never seen in another person. We did not bond right away, it was too tough. But he’s my best friend now. It will get better. Slowly, but it will.
Once my second son was born (I was shaking in my boots), I realized that it was truly not my fault. I am a good mother. Some kids are just born on fire, and they are the ones that will move mountains, realign the stars and teach us the hard and meaningful lessons along the way.
Hi there! I completely feel your pain. I can clearly remember handing off my daughter and going in the car to cry. It’s hard and lonely, and the end of the tunnel seems so far away. I know you’re doing everything and anything to help him, these days can be so rough though. I’m glad there has been beauty in the midst of sorrow, keep strong mama!
OMG my oldest was JUST like this. We went through like 3 yoga balls and when we flew to visit my parents, I told them to buy one and have it inflated upon arrival! It’s just brutal. Absolutely brutal. THere was one point where I was nursing him on the boppy while bouncing on a yoga ball with my husband giving me bites of food, while trying desperately to just watch a dang episode of parks and rec to distract myself from how awful it was.
Then my daughter came, and was the “easy baby” everyone describes. No yoga ball. I could just tell she was more physically comfortable than my son was, for no apparent reason! She was so content, in fact, that now I’m pregnant with my third! That’s how easy it is to gloss over how brutal it was because I tell you when I was on the yoga ball with my son, I was NEVER having more kids! I’m hoping we can keep the yoga ball deflated this time, but if not, well, it will be OK!
nice post , thanks for sharing
Levsin® (hyoscyamine) drops for colic, its an old school prescription that helps them sleep, if it gets too hard ask your MD about these.
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Hi,
This article really very helpful for me. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. Appreciated…!
After changing his formula to Alimentum, giving him Zantac, adding oatmeal to his bottle, and acupuncture, the colic finally improved.
He’s 18 now, a delightful boy. These are the sensitive ones. They are so sensitive to everything, thats why they cry. Every little action gets their nervous systems awake. But their sensitivity will also make them the best spouse.
Colic is tied closely to ADHD, so get ready, this is only the beginning. It gets easier in some ways harder in others.
Best of luck.
nice post , thanks for sharing.
ohh wow your baby is too cute. Having a baby with colic, i can understand your pain.
nice post , thanks for sharing
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Why do I relate to everything you write? You seriously could be me. My son had severe colic his first 3 months too. He was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy, so I had to cut all dairy out of my diet and switch to alimentum (we combo fed). It made a drastic improvement, but things were never “normal”. Thank you for sharing this! It really is the most isolating feeling in the world, and you can’t possibly comprehend what it’s like unless you’ve been through it. Thank you for sharing your story!
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Thanks for sharing the information. It’s a very interesting article. love to read it.
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nice post , thanks for sharing
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Very informative and helpful article. Thanks for sharing the information.
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